The Dog Ate It

So Molly has homework. By which I mean, of course, that *I* have homework. A sorry state of affairs for a man so recently freed from the shackles of grad school, but a situation utterly and completely of my own devising, I regret to say.

How, you may ask, does a 2-year-old have homework? What possible purpose could that serve? Ah, there's the rub- the correct answer is "probably zero." And yet, fool that I am, I got caught up in the excitement of parent-teacher night at preschool. I believed my toddler's teachers when they said that this homework program (one assignment per week) was strongly believed to aid in child development.

Okay, that's not fair. It may actually help them when done properly; I certainly don't think it's a huge game changer, but fair enough, it might have some impact on overall development. What I completely failed to take into account was that Molly and I are not together at any times of the day conducive to us doing homework "together." I get her ready in the morning, when we're scrambling to get her (and occasionally me) fed, as well as dressed and out the door. Not exactly prime homework time. Then I work late hours and don't get home until less than an hour before Molly's bedtime, at which point she's either mid-bath or snuggling with mommy on the couch. And it's not like Ann's going to take on the responsibility of doing it with Molly during the early evenings when I'm not there, nor should she have to. She finds the whole thing ridiculous and made it clear that if homework is being done, it's my responsibility. I can't say I blame her, and she didn't sign up for it, I did, so it's not fair to pass the buck. Nonetheless, this means that Molly and I have essentially no homework time together, so usually the first time she sees the construction paper house or turkey or whatever the heck we were supposed to work on together that week is the morning when we're turning it in. Probably not what they had in mind.

Is that my lot in life? Am I going to be the parent who writes his kid's papers for her because dammit, it'll be better and sound more professional if daddy just does it himself, why don't you go help your mother? Is that my destiny? I say thee nay! Preschool is one thing -- I signed up for this weirdness, so I have to see it through. But once the homework is real and mandatory? That kid is on her own. Sink or swim, honey.