Hopefully it's not rough and bumpy

So my in-laws came over yesterday. While to some people this would be cause for concern, my in-laws are genuinely great and we love having them over. This particular visit, they brought boxes full of old toys. My mother-in-law used to teach young children, I think kindergarteners, so she has lots of old supplies that she's now passing on to us for Molly and second kid. I go to the back of their SUV, grab a box, take a step toward the house... do a double take, and look back inside the trunk at the box labeled, exactly as written, "ASS WOOD BLOCKS". I ask my father-in-law if there's something I should know; he looks, chuckles and tells me I'll have to ask his wife. So we bring the box inside, I set it down and turn to my mother-in-law and say, "Do you mind my asking what that first word means?" She looks at me blankly and replies, "'Assorted.' Why?"

Oh, to be that innocent. So if anyone needs blocks made of rare wood taken from the fabled ass tree, we've got you covered.

#%*$&!

I'm sure this is something most parents encounter when their kids are just learning to speak, but it seems like Molly has really been working blue lately with an excessive number of accidental swears. Some of it's fairly subtle -- when she says "sit," she adds a bit of an "h" sound after the "s" -- but others are just front and center, like her fascination with clocks combined with her tendency to leave out one of the letters that is not "c," "o" or "k." Yyyyeeeaaahhh... try not getting embarrassed over that one when you're out in public and the child sees a clock on the wall. Then just the other day, we were driving to my parents' house when out of the backseat comes this tiny, exuberant little "fuka!", repeated at length. We still can't even guess what Molly's trying to say there (I know what you're thinking, but we're pretty careful about not swearing in front of her), but if you'd been driving alongside us at that moment, you would have seen two adults shaking uncontrollably while trying to bite back laughter, because you can't reinforce that exclamation. At the same time, though... fuka!

Put me in, coach, I'm ready to play

I never used to follow baseball -- I've always liked playing baseball, I just never had much use for watching other people play it -- but I started to get into it when the Phils almost won the World Series on the day Molly was born. Ann and I were in her recovery room and the initial adrenaline rush of "holy balls we're parents now, in two days this thing is entirely dependent on us" had worn off, leaving us tired but not wanting to sleep just yet. We turned on the TV and the Series happened to be on, so we watched while Molly slept in Ann's arms. That was Game 5, the one that would have clinched the Series for the Phils if not for the snow/sleet conditions leading to the game being postponed. The Phils would go on to win 2 days later, and that started a slow-burning increase in interest with me. It wasn't until almost a year later, when the Phils were again in the NLCS playoffs, that I would really starting watching, but this season I've watched almost every game. I'm a newbie, but I'm getting there.

Regardless, because I've been following the Phils and baseball in general closely this year, I heard a lot about the Roy Oswalt trade when it happened. And what I kept hearing from every news source was that on the surface, it seemed like an absolute coup for the Phils, who were getting a great pitcher for almost nothing. But the lone holdouts brought up how Oswalt wasn't young anymore, how he was getting on toward the end of his career, and how it was unclear how long he'd be able to remain competitive. Thankfully so far that hasn't proven to be the case, but those comments stuck with me...

...all the way up until 2 days ago, when I learned that Roy Oswalt just celebrated his 33rd birthday. I don't know why, but I think I had assumed he was in his late 30s/early 40s, almost a Jamie Moyer-type who gets credit just for still being in the game. But no: Roy Oswalt is almost 3 years to the day older than me, and the big question on everyone's mind was how long he could last before his body basically fell apart on him.

I realize professional sports are different and they tax a body something fierce, I know how gymnasts are considered washed-up by the time they're 19 or so, but that was NOT a good realization to have, let me tell you. And Roy Oswalt, let me tell you something too: you are NOT old, my friend, and you are going to prove it by continuing to kick ass through September and (hopefully) into the postseason. And once the playoffs are finally over, if you decide you want to do an Ironman, that will be fine too. You get 'em, man. Welcome to Philly.