Tidings of comfort and joy

Happy holidays, everyone! Just had to take time away from our seasonal celebrations to share two quick anecdotes:

1) Being that Ann's family is Jewish, we went to the in-laws' house last weekend for Hanukkah... lunch, to gorge ourselves on latkes and that most Judaic of foods, meatloaf. (Which was delicious, by the way.) Ann's parents also gave us our gifts, and Molly's was a kind of "My First Hanukkah" set for kids. Darn thing is pretty in depth, with a menorah complete with wooden candles and even detachable wooden flames so you can "light" them, as well as a pan and wooden latkes. It's sort of a bizarre hybrid of a child's cooking set and Hebrew school, but whatever, it's pretty cool. Also included with the set were 6 pieces of gelt and a dreidel, so that very night Ann decided to educate this ignorant gentile on the ways of the Jew through an epic dreidel smackdown the likes of which the world has never seen. Things got pretty heated, to be honest; I don't think gangbangers throwing dice in South Central are as aggressive as Ann was when her non-Jewish husband started winning. All I'll say is this: you haven't lived until you've heard the mother of your child yelling "Gimel, mother[bleep]er!"

2) On Christmas Day we fed Molly and then brought her over to the Christmas tree, where I helped her open her present (several Dr. Seuss books and The 12 Days of Christmas in New Jersey... keeping it real, Garden State) while Ann snapped plenty of pictures. What neither of us realized until Ann started uploading the photos to our computer is that my choice of attire would require a little skillful PhotoShopping. Let me explain: back in college a friend of mine went home to India over winter break, and when she returned she brought Christmas presents for a few of her closer friends. I received a t-shirt with a picture of an Arabian-style palace and the words "Via Agra (Man's greatest erection for a woman)." Juvenile, for sure, and not really acceptable for me to wear in public, but it's super comfy and I sleep in it all the time, to the point where I barely remember what it says anymore. However... not necessarily the shirt you want immortalized in cherished family photos that your daughter may well be looking at 5 or 6 years down the line. There are certain questions you just don't want to have to answer unless absolutely necessary, y'know?