On Beyond Zebra

One of the things I love most about my wife is the fact that she makes up new words. Much like Italian director Sergio Leone, who named one of his movies "Duck, You Sucker!" because he somehow got it in his head that this was a common phrase in English and wouldn't be told otherwise; much like this, Ann not only invents words and phrases, but also has learned how to convince herself that they've always existed and you're the weirdo for not knowing them. A small sampling, just to give you an idea of what we're dealing with here:

-"Housing." That's as a verb, not a noun, and it has nothing to do with where you live. To house one's food means to consume it very quickly, as in "Wow, you totally housed that taco!" I have no idea if it's meant to imply that you quickly made a home for the food in your stomach or what.

-"Rammy." To be rammy is to be restless, not satisfied with what you're doing. If we're sitting on the couch watching TV and I keep suggesting that maybe we should go out and run some errands or take a walk, I'm being rammy. I've often wondered if it's a bastardized form of rambunctious, but if Ann knows she isn't telling.

-Then there's my personal favorite. If you asked "What do you want to do for dinner?" and I replied "Let's just pick something up," your reaction would be "Okay, he's saying we should grab a pizza or some Chinese food on the way home, bring it back to the house, and eat it." And that's why it never would have worked between us, baby, because I hate Chinese food. You know that. Nonetheless, that's what any normal person would think, right? Nope. Uh-uh. Because if your wife is Ann and she says "Let's pick up dinner," what she means is let's just eat whatever leftovers or ready-made food we have lying around the house rather than cooking a big main course. The "pick up" dinner is a thing unto chaos, a casual meal wherein one eats whenever and whatever he wants, independent of what or when the other person is eating.

So where did this stuff come from? I honestly have no idea. I know it's not a regional thing, because Ann and I grew up within 30 miles of each other. So unless these are language tropes commonly employed at Penn State, I have no choice but to conclude that she just made them up herself. In which case, major props for the creativity, but whenever Molly starts talking, you'd best believe I'm going to be keeping an ear open for any sign of new words. I'm already the only male in the household, I don't need them developing their own language too.