You know how I can tell McDonalds' goal has finally shifted from "Maximize profits at all cost" to "Fuck it, just make everyone in America as fat as possible"? I was driving in to work today and heard an ad on the radio for their newest deal. The announcer could barely contain her glee as she spread the word about the latest promotion: two triple cheeseburgers for $3.
I'm going to repeat that just to make sure it sinks in: two triple cheeseburgers. For $3. Although at that point, it might as well be $2.50 for the first and 50 cents for each additional one, because who in their right mind is going to eat a fucking triple cheeseburger, burp, and immediately think, "Yeah, that was pretty filling, but you know what would really hit the spot? Another triple cheeseburger." Are you kidding me? Wouldn't it be quicker to grab a letter opener and repeatedly stab your heart while drinking a gallon of liposuctioned fat?
Look, I'm about the farthest thing in the world from a healthy eater. I like fast food, and I'm not going to begrudge anyone indulging in flame-broiled goodness every so often... hey, it tastes good. But this? This is literally McDonalds saying to your face, "Yeah, you're a fat pig, and you're never going to be thin again. Now open wide, porky, while we cram another Egg McMuffin down your throat- that'll be eight dollars and three months off your life. Ronald McDonald will be over there molesting your kids."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment