Here's a question for the class: have you ever been in the position of having to pretend you didn't hear something, just so you could get out of responding to it?
Surprisingly, there's a story behind that question. A few weeks back my sister and I were talking, and she happened to mention that she liked John Cho, who I guess is appearing on Ugly Betty now. Anyway, I nodded and said, "Oh yeah, I remember him... the 'MILF' guy from American Pie." My sister didn't know what I was talking about (youth), but the problem was my mother, who overheard the conversation and asked point blank, "The 'milf' guy? What's a milf?"
So I ask you, friends- what would you have done? I did the only thing I could think of: pretended I hadn't heard her and hastily changed the subject. Thank God she didn't press the issue.
"Well, Mom, y'see, it's when a lady of a certain age..."
Monday, June 23, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Betrayal
I think it's quite unfortunate that my daughter will now never know her father. I mean, God knows I want to be there at the birth of my baby girl, and to be involved in raising her. What father wouldn't? But then last night Ann and I were playing Mario Kart on the Wii, I was in first place and literally about five feet from the finish line... and she nailed me with a blue turtle shell, letting both her and a computer player cross the finish line first. I got third. Third.
Like I said, I'd really like to see my little daughter grow up, but I just don't see how I could be expected to stay with a woman who would do something like that to her husband. I mean, really.
Like I said, I'd really like to see my little daughter grow up, but I just don't see how I could be expected to stay with a woman who would do something like that to her husband. I mean, really.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Songs to rock out/rock your baby by
Don't have a lot of time today, so just 2 quick thoughts:
1) As of last Tuesday, it's official: we're having a girl! Ann and I are both thrilled, but of course this brings new complications into the picture, namely my impending need for a gun license. I feel sort of bad for my unborn daughter, because I'm going to be the most overprotective father ever. It'll be a real pain for her when all her high school friends are wearing cute miniskirts and she's stuck in snowpants and a trenchcoat, but c'est la vie.
2) Ann clued me in to this while composing the baby shower registry: they now have "Rockabye!" CDs containing soft, orchestral renditions of songs by classic pop/rock artists. Each one is devoted to a particular artist, and apparently they consist of "soothing instrumental lullaby" versions of that artist's songs. I'll admit it's a cool idea (though I never quite associated Nirvana with calming happy feelings, myself), a way for parents to get their kids to sleep while gleaning a smidgen of enjoyment out of the songs as well. There's a lot of the big names you'd expect: U2, the Beatles, the Stones, Led Zeppelin, even Green Day. My one quibble? No R.E.M.
Hey, I see you rolling your eyes. Yes, I'm a wee bit obsessed. Guilty. And I know, it's been almost two decades since R.E.M. was as popular as U2. It's just that a couple of the bands are ones I wouldn't consider either massively popular or as musically influential. I mean, Coldplay? Bjork? Nothing against those guys, but you'll never convince me they've made as significant a contribution to modern music. Or that the first band you think of when you hear "lullaby" is Radiohead. (If you do, email me, we should get some drinks.) True, there are a ton of other deserving bands that, as of yet, have no lullaby CD either -- Gn'R? Bruce and the E Street Band? -- I just won't count my life as complete if I never get to hear a lullaby version of "It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)." And that will be sad.
Oh well. At the very least, my little girl will now be able to nod off to sleep to the strains of "Inbetween Days." That's worth the price of admission right there.
1) As of last Tuesday, it's official: we're having a girl! Ann and I are both thrilled, but of course this brings new complications into the picture, namely my impending need for a gun license. I feel sort of bad for my unborn daughter, because I'm going to be the most overprotective father ever. It'll be a real pain for her when all her high school friends are wearing cute miniskirts and she's stuck in snowpants and a trenchcoat, but c'est la vie.
2) Ann clued me in to this while composing the baby shower registry: they now have "Rockabye!" CDs containing soft, orchestral renditions of songs by classic pop/rock artists. Each one is devoted to a particular artist, and apparently they consist of "soothing instrumental lullaby" versions of that artist's songs. I'll admit it's a cool idea (though I never quite associated Nirvana with calming happy feelings, myself), a way for parents to get their kids to sleep while gleaning a smidgen of enjoyment out of the songs as well. There's a lot of the big names you'd expect: U2, the Beatles, the Stones, Led Zeppelin, even Green Day. My one quibble? No R.E.M.
Hey, I see you rolling your eyes. Yes, I'm a wee bit obsessed. Guilty. And I know, it's been almost two decades since R.E.M. was as popular as U2. It's just that a couple of the bands are ones I wouldn't consider either massively popular or as musically influential. I mean, Coldplay? Bjork? Nothing against those guys, but you'll never convince me they've made as significant a contribution to modern music. Or that the first band you think of when you hear "lullaby" is Radiohead. (If you do, email me, we should get some drinks.) True, there are a ton of other deserving bands that, as of yet, have no lullaby CD either -- Gn'R? Bruce and the E Street Band? -- I just won't count my life as complete if I never get to hear a lullaby version of "It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)." And that will be sad.
Oh well. At the very least, my little girl will now be able to nod off to sleep to the strains of "Inbetween Days." That's worth the price of admission right there.
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