Edited for your approval

Just a quick one today- I'm sure we're all familiar with the practice of network and family-friendly cable channels editing content out of the movies they show. We've all seen TBS's cut of The Breakfast Club (since it's the only movie they show), where Vernon leaves the room and suddenly the music cranks up really loudly for about a second, followed by Bender saying "-you!" I wonder what that first word was? Some of you may even be familiar with some of the more esoteric dubs, like the infamous "I have had it with these monkey-fightin' snakes on this Monday-to-Friday plane!", or "Yippee-ki-yay, Mr. Falcon." Ergo, while watching National Lampoon's Vacation tonight, I was not at all surprised that they cut out the part where Chevy Chase flirts with Christie Brinkley by miming, er, oral ministrations on his baloney sandwich. Frankly, no one needs to see that, including Chevy's wife.

What I was NOT expecting was an edit that occurred soon after, in the scene where Ellen's luggage falls off the back of the car and gets lost. Oh, I suspected they might take out the part where Chevy says, "And those bags didn't have anything else important... except your diaphragm." Well, they didn't... not exactly. Imagine my surprise when I instead heard the line, "And those bags didn't have anything else important... except your birth control pills." Now, I understand that many younger viewers may not remember what a diaphragm was; but that is the craziest dub I've ever heard, hands down. I want to have been in that meeting where the TBS censors determined that sandwich mouth party = no go, but we can keep the joke about contraception... ah, but we'd better update it for the times. Wouldn't want anyone to get confused.

Personally, I cannot wait until the day when all references to discontinued products in movies are replaced by their modern equivalents. If only because I would like to see the scene where Michael J. Fox goes into a 1955 diner and orders a Coke Zero, only to be told that if he wants a Coke, he'll have to pay a lot more than zero.