It came out HOW long ago?

If you want to feel old (and who doesn't?), I have some advice for you: get satellite radio. Just recently, at about the same time they merged with Sirius, my XM radio's display screen changed so that it scrolls the song title across, same as it always did, but now with the year the song was released right after it. That's simultaneously very informative and extremely depressing, because if you think too hard about it, it reminds you of just how long ago the song was released. As an example: a few weeks ago Ann and I were driving home from work when a song came on the 90s station. I think it was "The Sign" by Ace of Base, but it's not important; what is important is that the year listed was 1993. And actually, even that didn't bother us because, you know, 1993 wasn't that long ago, right? Right, except... then one of us, I forget which, happened to mention that in fact it was sixteen years ago. And that was sobering.

Why's that, you ask? Well, because "The Sign" came out a while back, sure, but it wasn't TOO long ago. I remember listening to it on the radio when it first came out, for God's sake. Whereas if that lying bastard radio were to be believed, it would suggest that for our daughter Molly, "The Sign" and any other song from 1993 will be as much an oldie as songs released in 1964 were for me. Nineteen sixty-effing-four! The Beatles made their first appearance on Ed Sullivan in 1964! (Yes, I had to look that up.) The Rolling Stones released their very first album in 1964! Sixteen years is bleeping forever ago, whereas "The Sign" is, you know, just a shade on the dated side. I absolutely refuse to believe that the time between the Beatles' debut and my birth is the same as the amount of time between songs from 1993 and my daughter's birth. No way.

So that's why satellite radio is evil. And the next time someone tells you "Cherub Rock" came out sixteen years ago, remember that what they actually meant to say is that it came out in 1993, which really wasn't that long ago. Trust me, you'll feel a lot better.