Guitar Hero: [insert band here]

I just found out a few days ago that they're coming out with Guitar Hero: Aerosmith. That's right, an entire game devoted to Steven Tyler and co. teaching us how to walk this way on our little plastic guitars. (Okay, technically it's 60% Aerosmith, 40% bands who have covered, opened for, or are friends of Aerosmith, like Cheap Trick, Joan Jett, and Run DMC.) That sounds pretty sweet, and the article I read said Aerosmith was one of the top 5 bands that fans said they'd want to see a Guitar Hero game devoted to. Which immediately begs the question, who were the other 4? The article didn't say, but it got me thinking about the wisdom of devoting GH games to other famous bands.


Guitar Hero: The Beatles
The kooky quartet from Liverpool, comprised of two unquestionable creative geniuses and two... other guys who could play their instruments pretty well.
Pros: Hard to argue merit -- with the exception of the King, no one was more instrumental in bringing the sweet rhythms of rock 'n roll to whitey. Probably the most famous band in the world, decades after their break-up.
Cons: Brilliant innovaters though they were, it's difficult to associate the Fab Four with hard rock. No one ever smashed a guitar or flipped off fans during a raw performance of "Yellow Submarine" or "Paperback Writer."
Conclusion: Let it be.


Guitar Hero: The Rolling Stones
The original hard-partying, groupie-groping, substance-abusing rockers in whose footsteps all others must follow. (No, Elvis doesn't count.) Also wrote a few songs here and there.
Pros: A career spanning decades, with a catalog unmatched for pure number of great songs and hits. Also, the respect and admiration of nearly every musician and rock fan in the world.
Cons: Mick Jagger still thinks video games involve eating ghosts while saying "wakka wakka," and Keith Richards might try to smoke the motion capture camera.
Conclusion: Give Mick some satisfaction, this one's a no brainer.


Guitar Hero: Jefferson Starship
They built this city.
Pros: ...
Cons: Entire game consists of one song.
Conclusion: Uh, no.


Guitar Hero: U2
Some nice blokes from Ireland who do a couple songs you might have heard of. Apparently they're starting to get a bit of press outside their native country. Good for them.
Pros: Have been cranking out hits since the early '80s, and every single person on Earth can hum a good 70% of their catalog. Old enough that baby boomers know who they are, yet young people still like their music. Nice combination.
Cons: Save the preaching for Sunday, Churchy LaFemme.
Conclusion: Even people who don't own a video game system would buy a copy. They're just that damn popular.


Guitar Hero: R.E.M.
The band who could make you laugh and make you cry, all while not understanding a single verse. Consistently vie with U2 for "most influential band of the last 25 years" status among serious music fans. Inserted political messages into music when it wasn't the thing to do.
Pros: Not lacking in recognizable tunes, and early albums have plenty of deep but lesser-known songs and B-sides to round out the setlists. Also, they rule.
Cons: Despite plethora of hits, not really mainstream friendly in the way U2 is, which could drive away casual players. Bono = sunglassed and messianic, Michael Stipe = bald and bisexual. Checkmate.
Conclusion: The one I'd love.


Guitar Hero: Automatic Baby
In 1993, members of R.E.M. and U2 joined forces to create Automatic Baby (Automatic For The People + Achtung Baby), performing an acoustic version of "One" at an MTV concert for President Clinton.
Pros: Uh... the indisputable two greatest bands of the '80s teaming up for the purpose of one legendary video game?
Cons: Only ever played one song together. Also, gamers' heads might explode from sheer awesomeness.
Conclusion: Drew's on drugs.